{"title":"HATS","description":null,"products":[{"product_id":"1996-fishing-competition-runner-up","title":"1996 FISHING COMPETITION — RUNNER-UP","description":"\u003cp\u003eSecond place.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI want to be careful how I say this because there is a lawyer somewhere who would tell me not to. The fish Kevin brought to the table in 1996 was WET IN THE WRONG WAY. It had freezer texture. I said so at the time, to the judges, at volume, and I was asked to step back from the table.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThey gave me this hat. RUNNER-UP. Two words that have followed me for thirty years.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI still wear it. Every time Kevin sees it he changes the subject. That is worth more than a trophy.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDALE'S NOTE:\u003c\/strong\u003e Forest green, embroidered front, adjustable strap, one size fits a normal head. Ships in 2 days. I know how it fits because I have worn mine since 1996.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"DALE'S DEPOT","offers":[{"title":"ONE SIZE \/ FOREST GREEN","offer_id":48476842950877,"sku":"UNS-1996-FISHING-COMPETI-ONE-SIZE-FOREST-GREEN","price":38.0,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0848\/8022\/8573\/files\/1996-fishing-competition-runner-up.jpg?v=1788134433"},{"product_id":"st-marys-bowling-league-2001","title":"ST. MARY'S BOWLING LEAGUE — 2001 PARTICIPANT","description":"\u003cp\u003ePARTICIPANT.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eNot champion. Not runner-up. They did not even give us a place. They gave us a WORD that means you were physically present in the building.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI bowled a 94 average that season which I am told is not good. But I showed up every Thursday for eight months in a church basement that smelled like wet carpet and I ate the free chili and I was PART OF SOMETHING.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThere are worse hats than a hat that says you kept showing up.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDALE'S NOTE:\u003c\/strong\u003e Maroon, cream embroidery, adjustable, one size. Ships in 2 days. Nobody has ever asked me what my average was and I would like someone to.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"DALE'S DEPOT","offers":[{"title":"ONE SIZE \/ MAROON","offer_id":48476843016413,"sku":"UNS-ST-MARYS-BOWLING-LEA-ONE-SIZE-MAROON","price":38.0,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0848\/8022\/8573\/files\/st-marys-bowling-league-2001.jpg?v=1788134434"},{"product_id":"employee-of-the-month-february-1999","title":"EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH — FEBRUARY 1999","description":"\u003cp\u003eI am not going to tell you the company.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe company and I have an arrangement, which is that I do not say the name and they do not call my house. That is all I will say about the company.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhat I will say is that in February of 1999 I did something so significant that a man named Gary shook my hand in a break room in front of eleven people. There was a cake. The cake said my name. Then in March there were some developments.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eTwenty-seven years later I still have the hat. Gary does not have anything.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDALE'S NOTE:\u003c\/strong\u003e Navy, white embroidery, adjustable strap, one size. Ships in 2 days. No company name on the hat, for reasons.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"DALE'S DEPOT","offers":[{"title":"ONE SIZE \/ NAVY","offer_id":48476843114717,"sku":"UNS-EMPLOYEE-OF-THE-MONT-ONE-SIZE-NAVY","price":38.0,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0848\/8022\/8573\/files\/employee-of-the-month-february-1999.jpg?v=1788134436"},{"product_id":"ricks-bait-and-tackle","title":"RICK'S BAIT \u0026 TACKLE — EST. 1981","description":"\u003cp\u003eRick's is gone.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIt was on the highway before they put the new highway in, and after they put the new highway in it was on a road that goes nowhere, and you cannot run a bait shop on a road that goes nowhere. Rick held on until 2011. He was stubborn about it in a way I admired and Sharon did not.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHe sold minnows, coffee, and one kind of sandwich. He never once asked how the fishing was, because he knew, because everyone told him first.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis one is for Rick.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDALE'S NOTE:\u003c\/strong\u003e Khaki, dark brown embroidery, small hook detail, adjustable, one size. Ships in 2 days. Est. 1981 and that part is not a joke.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"DALE'S DEPOT","offers":[{"title":"ONE SIZE \/ KHAKI","offer_id":48476843213021,"sku":"UNS-RICKS-BAIT-AND-TACKL-ONE-SIZE-KHAKI","price":38.0,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0848\/8022\/8573\/files\/ricks-bait-and-tackle.jpg?v=1788134437"},{"product_id":"terrys-tire-and-muffler","title":"TERRY'S TIRE \u0026 MUFFLER","description":"\u003cp\u003eI will not be writing a description for this one.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eTerry knows what he did. Terry knows about the '04 Ranger. Terry knows he heard the noise and said “that's just how they sound” and took my money and looked me in the eye while doing it.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI sell the hat because it is a GOOD LOOKING HAT and because Terry does not get to take red baseball caps away from me too.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIf you have your own Terry, this is your hat. Everyone has a Terry.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDALE'S NOTE:\u003c\/strong\u003e Red, white embroidery, tire outline, adjustable, one size. Ships in 2 days. Do not go to Terry.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"DALE'S DEPOT","offers":[{"title":"ONE SIZE \/ RED","offer_id":48476843278557,"sku":"UNS-TERRYS-TIRE-AND-MUFF-ONE-SIZE-RED","price":38.0,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0848\/8022\/8573\/files\/terrys-tire-and-muffler.jpg?v=1788134438"},{"product_id":"17th-annual-chili-cook-off-1997","title":"17TH ANNUAL CHILI COOK-OFF — 1997","description":"\u003cp\u003eI have gone back and forth on whether to sell this one.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHere is what happened, briefly. I entered a chili. The chili was good. The chili was arguably the best chili at that event and I say “arguably” because there was an argument, and the argument went on for some time, and part of it happened in the parking lot.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI was not disqualified. I want that on the record. I WITHDREW. There is a difference and the 1998 committee understood the difference which is why I was invited back in a limited capacity.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDALE'S NOTE:\u003c\/strong\u003e Mustard yellow, dark red embroidery, chili pepper detail, adjustable, one size. Ships in 2 days. Recipe not included and not available.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"DALE'S DEPOT","offers":[{"title":"ONE SIZE \/ MUSTARD YELLOW","offer_id":48476843376861,"sku":"UNS-17TH-ANNUAL-CHILI-CO-ONE-SIZE-MUSTARD-YELLOW","price":38.0,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0848\/8022\/8573\/files\/17th-annual-chili-cook-off-1997.jpg?v=1788134440"},{"product_id":"i-survived-the-1998-ice-storm","title":"I SURVIVED THE 1998 ICE STORM","description":"\u003cp\u003eTwelve days without power.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI am not going to be funny about this one. If you were there you remember the sound the trees made, and you remember somebody's grandfather who did not do well in the cold, and you remember the guys from the hydro crews sleeping in their trucks.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWe ran a generator for four houses off one extension cord and Sharon made soup for people I had never met. It was the worst two weeks and it is the thing I am proudest of.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThey handed these out afterward. I have never lost mine.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDALE'S NOTE:\u003c\/strong\u003e Royal blue, white embroidery, small snowflake, adjustable, one size. Ships in 2 days. If you were there, you already know if you want this.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"DALE'S DEPOT","offers":[{"title":"ONE SIZE \/ ROYAL BLUE","offer_id":48476843475165,"sku":"UNS-I-SURVIVED-THE-1998--ONE-SIZE-ROYAL-BLUE","price":38.0,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0848\/8022\/8573\/files\/i-survived-the-1998-ice-storm.jpg?v=1788134441"},{"product_id":"y2k-preparedness-team","title":"Y2K PREPAREDNESS TEAM","description":"\u003cp\u003eNothing happened.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI am aware that nothing happened. People have been telling me that nothing happened for twenty-six years, usually at parties, usually with a certain tone.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHere is what I would ask those people. Do you think nothing happened BY ACCIDENT? Do you think the clocks just sorted themselves out? There were TEAMS. I was ON one. We had a binder. We had a phone tree that we tested twice.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eNothing happened because of us. You are welcome. Enjoy your working bank.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDALE'S NOTE:\u003c\/strong\u003e Black, silver-grey thread, small globe, adjustable, one size. Ships in 2 days. The binder is in the garage if anyone wants to see it.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"DALE'S DEPOT","offers":[{"title":"ONE SIZE \/ BLACK","offer_id":48476843540701,"sku":"UNS-Y2K-PREPAREDNESS-TEA-ONE-SIZE-BLACK","price":38.0,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0848\/8022\/8573\/files\/y2k-preparedness-team.jpg?v=1788134442"},{"product_id":"dougs-small-engine-repair","title":"DOUG'S SMALL ENGINE REPAIR","description":"\u003cp\u003eDoug is good.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThat is the whole description. I have complaints about most people on this website but I do not have a single complaint about Doug. He fixed a mower I was told was unfixable. He charged me less than the quote. He called me when he said he would call me, on the day, at the time.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI do not know how a man like that ends up doing small engines in a shop with no sign, but he does, and if you have a Doug you should be nicer to him than you currently are.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDALE'S NOTE:\u003c\/strong\u003e Charcoal grey, white embroidery, spark plug detail, adjustable, one size. Ships in 2 days. Doug did not ask for a hat. Doug does not know about the hat.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"DALE'S DEPOT","offers":[{"title":"ONE SIZE \/ CHARCOAL GREY","offer_id":48476843639005,"sku":"UNS-DOUGS-SMALL-ENGINE-R-ONE-SIZE-CHARCOAL-GREY","price":38.0,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0848\/8022\/8573\/files\/dougs-small-engine-repair.jpg?v=1788134443"},{"product_id":"junior-curling-champion-1994","title":"JUNIOR CURLING CHAMPION — 1994","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis is my son's.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHe was eleven. He threw the last rock of the final end and he did not celebrate, he just looked at me in the stands to check that I had seen it, and I had, and I have thought about that look approximately once a week for thirty-two years.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHe is grown now and he designs shirts for this website that I do not understand and will not describe. But in 1994 he was the best junior curler in the region and I was there.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI have not asked permission to sell this hat.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDALE'S NOTE:\u003c\/strong\u003e Pale blue, navy embroidery, curling rock detail, adjustable, one size. Ships in 2 days. Also fits adults, which is the point.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"DALE'S DEPOT","offers":[{"title":"ONE SIZE \/ PALE BLUE","offer_id":48476843704541,"sku":"UNS-JUNIOR-CURLING-CHAMP-ONE-SIZE-PALE-BLUE","price":38.0,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0848\/8022\/8573\/files\/junior-curling-champion-1994.jpg?v=1788134444"},{"product_id":"karaoke-night-semi-finalist","title":"KARAOKE NIGHT — SEMI-FINALIST","description":"\u003cp\u003eSharon and I did “Islands in the Stream.”\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWe made the semi-final. We did not make the final. The couple that beat us had CHOREOGRAPHY, which I maintain is outside the spirit of karaoke, and I said so into a live microphone, which is part of why we did not make the final.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eShe still has the video. She has shown it to people. She showed it to her sister at Christmas and everyone laughed and I laughed too and then I went and stood in the driveway for a bit.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSemi-finalist. Best I ever did at anything.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDALE'S NOTE:\u003c\/strong\u003e Black, white embroidery, tiny microphone, adjustable, one size. Ships in 2 days. Duet partner not included.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"DALE'S DEPOT","offers":[{"title":"ONE SIZE \/ BLACK","offer_id":48476843802845,"sku":"UNS-KARAOKE-NIGHT-SEMI-F-ONE-SIZE-BLACK","price":38.0,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0848\/8022\/8573\/files\/karaoke-night-semi-finalist.jpg?v=1788134446"},{"product_id":"probably","title":"PROBABLY","description":"\u003cp\u003eI wear this one to the dump and to weddings. It does both.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMy neighbour asked if I was going to move my truck. I pointed at the hat.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIt is a hat. It goes on the head. Five stars, and I made it, so I would know.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"DALE'S DEPOT","offers":[{"title":"ONE SIZE \/ MAROON","offer_id":48476848750813,"sku":"UNS-PROBABLY-ONE-SIZE-MAROON","price":38.0,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0848\/8022\/8573\/files\/probably.jpg?v=1788134463"},{"product_id":"dales-depot-company-hat","title":"DALE'S DEPOT — COMPANY HAT","description":"\u003cp\u003eEvery other hat on this website is from something that already happened. This one is from something that is happening RIGHT NOW, which I think makes it the most important hat I sell.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis is the STAFF HAT. I ordered these for the staff. There is no staff. I understood that when I placed the order and I placed it anyway, and the minimum was one hundred and forty-four units, and they are in the garage next to the Y2K binder.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI have given eleven of them away. Doug has one. The girl at the post office has one because she has been very patient with me. Kevin does not have one and will not be getting one.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIt is purple because the website is purple. My son says a hat does not have to match a website. I said then why does anything match anything, and he did not have a good answer for me, and the hats are purple.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIf you wear this, people will ask you what Dale's Depot is. I have thought about what you should tell them and I do not have anything. Make something up. That is what I do.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDALE'S NOTE:\u003c\/strong\u003e Grey crown, brown brim, purple embroidery, adjustable strap, one size. Ships in 2 days from the garage. One hundred and thirty-three remaining.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"DALE'S DEPOT","offers":[{"title":"ONE SIZE \/ GREY","offer_id":48476848849117,"sku":"UNS-DALES-DEPOT-COMPANY--ONE-SIZE-GREY","price":38.0,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0848\/8022\/8573\/files\/dales-depot-company-hat.jpg?v=1788134465"},{"product_id":"still-renting","title":"STILL RENTING","description":"\u003cp\u003eEvery single person who has bought this has bought it for themselves. Nobody gifts this hat.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIt is the most relatable thing I have ever put on a hat and I have put a lot of things on hats.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eShips in two days. The hat will arrive faster than your landlord fixes anything.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"DALE'S DEPOT","offers":[{"title":"ONE SIZE \/ LIGHT GREY","offer_id":48476848947421,"sku":"UNS-STILL-RENTING-ONE-SIZE-LIGHT-GREY","price":38.0,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0848\/8022\/8573\/files\/still-renting.jpg?v=1788134466"},{"product_id":"0-for-12","title":"0 FOR 12","description":"\u003cp\u003eSomebody asked me 0 for 12 in what. That is between you and the hat.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI have gone 0 for 12 at several things including marriage, ball, and this website's first month.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe stitching is genuinely good. That part is not a joke.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"DALE'S DEPOT","offers":[{"title":"ONE SIZE \/ WHITE","offer_id":48476849012957,"sku":"UNS-0-FOR-12-ONE-SIZE-WHITE","price":38.0,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0848\/8022\/8573\/files\/0-for-12.jpg?v=1788134467"}],"url":"https:\/\/shop.dalesdepot.com\/collections\/hats.oembed","provider":"DalesDepot","version":"1.0","type":"link"}